Elizabeth had this great post about her resolution not to diet. It got me thinking about several things.
First, the whole diet and healthy living thing. I never had a weight problem, yet constantly felt "fat" in my size 8-10 clothing. I went through periods in my life of not nourishing my body properly in the quest for the smaller size. The negative track that played over and over in my mind certainly hurt my self-esteem (though I hate to use that phrase, a bit hackneyed).
However, like Elizabeth, I think having children certainly saved me from continuing the negative behaviors. The health of my babies was paramount in my mind. When I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes in one of my pregnancies I had to focus even more on eating healthily. But, the mantra still plays in my head sometimes.
Towards the end of last year I started taking even closer attention to what I put in my mouth and in front of my family. Partly because it was possible that I was having gall bladder problems. Though the tests came back normal, there is a strong family history so I still need to pay close attention. My husband is a diabetic I was convicted with the thought that how I chose to feed him at home would have an enormous impact on his health. And so we are also resolved in this house to eat healthy. To me that means variety and balance. I think I will do another post soon because I'm still gathering my thoughts on this issue.
The second thing I thought about was my resolve to get things in our home more ordered. I am still on track, working in the kitchen, weeding out the stuff that is not used. But this week, as I was disciplined about waking up early and keeping to a routine (notice I said routine, not schedule), I realized that the disorder I feel sometimes is about more than stuff. So the resolution will also focus on personal discipline (most importantly regular time for prayer, even if it is just listening to and praying the rosary on the ipod as I nurse the baby at 5am) and making for a more ordered routine for the children. I know for all our sakes I have to approach this slowly. But already last week, I saw some fruit. We had teatime. My stress was somewhat lessened. And I need to be gentle with myself. There is some catchup. I am not as brave as Elizabeth as to take a picture of my mountains as laundry, but slowly but surely, we're plugging away.